Teenagers tips

Dont try to pick up chicks at a funeral.

ESPECIALLY if she’s 8 years oldESPECIALLY if she’s the one being buriedAlso can someone bail me out of prison?

Insert a carrot into your pp hole to get night vision

Your dick looks small from 1st person perspective, but it looks pretty big when you look in the mirror(or at least bigger than it seemed)

If you dislike fake birthday wishes make your date of birth private on social media and see who remembers.

This year nobody remembered

Not a lot of guys like makeup

Take care of your teeth.

So I had to go to the dentist and orthodontist today, on my day off from work. I knew it was going to suck, but I didn't know that it would suck this much. I found out, at the dentist, that I had 8 cavities, all of which were going to be filled. They are all also on my front teeth, aka my incisors. I didn't see them because they were covered by a layer of white plaque. I have to get my braces taken off to do this, and probably put back on. The day it happens is going to suck, and there's really nothing I can do about it now. So please, please take care of your teeth.

Keep out of reach of children.

Do not use if quality seal is broken. WARNING: Keep powder away from child's face to avoid inhalation, which can cause breathing problems.

Always wear socks, I stepped on glass and it hurt like shit

Don’t have time to make coffee in the morning? Put the grounds in a line and snort those fuckers!

If you're hanging out with a group and they're smoking/drinking and you personally don't want to, instead of telling them you don't drink/smoke, tell them you quit.

That way you won't have to seem like a narc and still not be pressured.